Pippa goes cruising....? and picnicking

Without further ado I will post the current state of the film project.

Although I was going to use PippaLoveBoat as my working title I really can't call it that. Even in jest. So it has morphed into Pippa Goes Cruising. Oh dear. Perhaps that is not very good either.

Suggestions for a working title would be helpful.


Cast

Sofa King and Toast Hero - Pippa
Heroines 1 & 2 - Sophie and Ethel
Love rival - BenTheRotti
Goofy golden retriever sidekick - Charlie
After-dinner crooner Boxer - Chef

Official Ship's C.A.T. - JB
(the only one we don't chase - although we could perhaps have one tiny little chase scene?)


Side plots
1) the entertainment crew led by Chef
2) detour to Melbourne involving mystery and intrigue - Bella
3) trip to UK for Simba's walk-on part


Production

Producer/director - Pippa (for now)
Pippa's agent and PR director - Randi
Ethel's agent - Wally
Tester of the all-you-can-eat buffet - Wally
Sophie's agent - Sophie, I mean Sophie's agent

Screenplay - Me, Pippa, oh and well, Misery


Now I need to be clear about a couple of things. In no particular order.

Randi wants me to accompany her to all official premieres. I think that is an admirable wish, but given that we haven't got too far with this project, I don't think that is a major worry for now. And I thought film stars were meant to go with their leading ladies. So perhaps you need to be in the film too Randi?

And as I have four paws, I could go to the premiere with at least four girlfriends. Because I don't want Bandana Ben stealing all the glory. Now that is the other thing I need to be clear about. Love rival means exactly that. You do not end up with my girlfriends. Unlikely, I would have thought, seeing as you have taken to wearing bandanas, but there is no accounting for taste.

Now my initial ideas for the plot are that the girlfriends fly out to Gibraltar to join a cruise ship which will take us all across the Atlantic. It has to be said that going to the UK for Simba is a bit of a detour, and going to Melbourne for mystery and intrigue with Bella is even more out of the route.

I reckon we could just about go to the UK and perhaps Simba could get Fat Fat Daddy to pilot him out to the cruise ship for an overnight stay? And maybe that is when Bandana Ben joins the ship? Meanwhile, I have already met Sophie and Ethel and then this Rotti upstart upsets my relationships.

During the cruise there is obviously much chasing of cats, ESPECIALLY ginger ones. Sophie and I are determined to catch as many ginger cats as possible. Ethel is often to be seen playing with tennis balls. Sophie also picks up the odd tennis ball too.

I haven't thought about what Charlie is going to do yet, but I like the idea of having a goofy side-kick. It means I don't have to be on screen all the time (and neither does Ben). Chef has got lots of ideas about:

"the role of the after-dinner crooner's Boxer who has to compete with the piano player's Collie mix for the love of the magician's pretty poodle assistant who recently left the tap dancer's Lab and took all his chewies. I have just the poodle for you. Cute girl named Tiffany (apricot, long curly hair)....."

so I don't have to worry about that plot.

When we get to America, I need to work out how to get down the Great Lakes because Tasha and Eva have offered to meet me in Duluth and then go back to their house for treats and toast.

So although we could have a detour to Aus, I could also consider the Aus plot for a sequel and we could go via Singapore and Malaysia to visit all our friends there.

Any views on that one?

Now. I sent mistress out to get a picture of a potential cruise ship seeing as we have plenty of them here in Gib.

What does she take?

Does this look like a cruise ship?



No, mistress. This is a British Royal Naval frigate. Type 23 for anyone who is interested in that sort of detail. I don't think it is appropriate for my film. We would have to wear uniforms and obey orders and things. My girlfriends and I like to go au naturale. Wait. I could be Commander Pippa. "Pippa goes to see" I mean "to sea". I will think about that one.

That is enough about the film project. Any ideas and comments will be very welcome.

Here are a few piccies of me at my favourite petrol station picnic stop this weekend. We had tortilla sandwiches and chips. Yum!

Tips and toast

Apologies to everyone if we haven't got round and commented on your blogs. Misery is battling a cold somewhat feebly and is verging on the delirious. She can't remember which blogs we have visited and which we haven't. We will have another go soon. I know that some of you have pawly mistresses too and for all your sakes I hope they are better soon. I know what a nuisance it is to have a pawly mistress.

Tough master on the other hand is going to work every day despite being ill. Now he said to mistress only yesterday, "Of course it is difficult for you, I have to concentrate on going to work, but because you are at home it is difficult to forget you are poorly."

Excuse me master. Mistress has ME to concentrate on. If she spent more time talking nicely (but not too much ie not when I want to go to sleep), feeding me treats, and giving me a few little caresses now and again, she wouldn't have time to feel pawly. And another thing, I don't want her to pull my fur out mind - I can do that nicely myself. Oh, and she needs to straighten my throws too. And change them more often. And write my screenplay. And share her food with me more equitably.





Which reminds me I have a Pippa Top Tip to share. I don't think I have shared this one before but I forgot to tell you about it at the time. It is the salad tip. Now, I don't like boring old lettuce but I do like some of the tastier greens. Rocket for example, or frisee, and escarole - the sort of things with a nice sharp taste to them.

As you all know, mistress is very greedy. So when she piles a load of greens onto her plate to go with OUR (vege) burger, it often hangs over the edge. When taking up position incredibly near to mistress, ie near enough to eat all the food at one go, but not so doing, thereby displaying total restraint and wonderful decorum, one can use one's snose to best ability.

A quick nonchalant flick, and a pile of leaves are on the floor. Of course, there may be some you don't want, but overall it is a good dead-cert method to at least get some scrummy greens. Just go through the ones on the floor and let mistress put the rest in the bin. She won't eat any of them naturally (they will probably be full of Pippafur as she hasn't swept up), but she is too tight to throw them all out, so I get to choose what I want. If I am very clever with the snoseflick there may be a few pieces of tomato too.

I am telling you about this good trick because sadly today I did not get the opportunity to practise it. In spite of being the pawliest mistress under the sun, she wasn't stupid enough to let the greens hang over the edge, or to leave her plate unguarded for even a second. In fact she kept trying to move it further and further away from me. And I was sitting so nicely too. The only good thing to say is that I ended up with most of the bread and butter because she doesn't really like it that much anyway.

That reminds me. How could I forget? NO TOAST. Stupid master nearly choked the other day so mistress has banned him from eating toast. Why did he nearly choke? Because he was busy talking to me and telling me I couldn't have all of his toast.

I think there are a few lessons there master.
1) Give me your toast when I tell you
2) Don't speak with your mouth full
3) Make more toast and then there is an equal share.

It is all to no avail though. Mistress made herself quite ill panicking about him choking and sometimes there is no arguing with her. So there is a toast ban in the Pippahousehold. For now. I need to work on getting it rescinded though.

I said I was going to post about the film project but I thought the toast news and the salad tip were more important. I will try and do it next time. Anyway I am going to have a bit of a nap and catch a few cats in my dreams.

A good time

Master and I had such a good time the other day.

Misery had gone back to the finca to pay bills and things like that so master took the day off work to be with me. (Mistress also discovered on her trip that we have baby chickens, but as this is not a chicken blog - the pictures are on hers clicky here.)

Anyway, master went downstairs with the rubbish. When they take the rubbish out I know they will come back soon, but he didn't come back straightaway.

So although he had taken the rubbish down, it was from the night before and I found some new rubbish in the bin. As mistress had been so pleased with her present trail, I thought I would make one for master.

As luck would have it, my dog biscuit sack had gone in there, so I carefully pulled it out, and then happily sat chewing it into tiny pieces to make the trail. Normally I am not too fond of paper, but when it has been wrapping up tasty things then it is ok. Butter wrappers are exceptionally yummy.

When I had finished, I jumped on my sofa to admire my work. And I was still thinking what a clever Pippa I was when master walked in.

"Hello Pippa. Oh good dog," he said, exactly like mistress had done when I left her the trail. Then he came over and patted and stroked me and told me how wonderful I was. This present trail is clearly the way to go.

Then just like mistress again, he picked up all the bits and put them back in the bin, and said how silly he was for not tying it up or moving it out of my way.

Later on I decided we should go for a walk and visit some of my friends. First we went to the marina to look at the boats. Master had a beer and the woman who runs the bar came out to stroke me and love me. I smiled nicely at her but to be honest I had my mind on more important projects - while I looked at the boats I considered plans for PippaLoveBoat (working title). I will post more on that next time but thank you all for your submissions so far.



Then we went to another pub but that was not very exciting. Master and I sat outside in the sun and I looked for the resident cat(s) but I couldn't find them. I was disappointed about this so yesterday when master came in, I thought we should go back to the pub and look for them again. After all, master is working inside at the moment so he needs to spend some time outside in the sunshine and fresh air.

Just as Misery walked past on her way to the shops (and not expecting to see us there), I spotted the cat. I tried to pull master and the table over but he was having none of it. I ignored Misery - after all, I can see her any time but when cats appear I have to make the most of them.

When Misery came back from the shops we were still there. Master had found some nice people to talk to who had a German Shepherd (not with them) so they were interested in ME. They said I looked quite similar to their dog - who was also an ace cat hunter.

Just as we set off, I noticed the cat AGAIN. Perhaps it was just co-incidence it appeared every time mistress appeared. Then she got in my way and we both nearly tumbled over when our legs got tangled up together. Silly mistress trying to prevent my cat hunt antics.

I'm off to dream about my cat-hunting paradise.

Back again

Well here I am. Back again although I am thinking of consigning mistress to the personhouse.

Before I start with all my news I want to tell you about some of my doggie friends.

Firstly, beautiful Tasha and Eva have been nominated for Photo of the Month at The Bone Zone. I do hope they win because they not only look adorable, they have such lovely temperaments too. Apart from when they do evil eyes of course.

Rocky and his sister Mati, over at RockStar and Company are back again after a few months blogging break. Hurrah! Mati is another beautiful girlfriend, and Rocky is a very handsome bro, although he has a bit of a poorly back and has to do physical therapy.

And finally some new friends. Or at least some friends who have just joined DWB. Jackson, Narra and Tuchuck are at Tracing Lucky Skies. Their human has been blogging for a zillion years, well quite a few anyway, and they are real-life pals of Wally and Ethel. We have been visiting for a while, after Wally mentioned them some months back, so I am pleased they have joined DWB. Narra is particularly beautiful, but as usual I seem to be fighting with Wally for her affections. If you get chance, please pop over and say hello.

Right. My exciting news. The washing machine came back. Misery washed my throws but now they are dirty again. Sulk sulk. The coffee machine is not working properly but that is of no interest to me. Mistress seems to think it needs descaling. I don't see why. It is not a fish, it is a coffee machine. I do wonder about mistress sometimes.

Now, I would like to say thank-you to my new pal Chef and his mommy, as they pointed out that the lily flowers in the last post but one are called alstroemaria. They also pointed out that the sap from the broken stems can cause a rash - so if anyone else buys these pretty flowers, you know to be careful with them.

Right. That is enough about flowers but I thought it was important to say that.



I promised last time that I would write something about the film idea. My girlfriends have been very supportive about it - thank you all very much, and to everyone else for all your good ideas but the 'phone hasn't rung yet so I am beginning to lose all hope.

But before I consign it to the archives, I must just mention a few comments.

Randi did a super promotional piece for me on her blog. I thought that was very sweet and if I did decide to go ahead with it, I wondered if you might like to be my agent and PR director? Naturally mistress would work for you, although as you know she isn't much good, but it would put her nose out of joint so that would be funny. She could be your admin assistant or something.

Both Ethel and Sophie offered to be my leading ladies. That is exactly what I need I think. A little bit of love rivalry. The cosmopolitan blond Sophie and the sassy dark Ethel with the sharp pointy teeth.

Sophs even came up with the starter for a plot - a romantic comedy involving a marmalade cat. I'm not sure about the comedy but we definitely need some romance and lots and lots of cats.

I have given this one some thought, and decided the best plot would involve a cruise liner. I thought this was particularly sensible as all the cats on the ship would not be able to escape so we could catch them all and it would be a happy ending (for us dogs). Ooops, I'm jumping ahead of myself and missing out the romantic interest. Naturally with Sophie being in Canada and Ethel being in USA and me being here in Gibraltar and Spain - we need something to connect us - so what better than a cruise ship. PippaLoveBoat in fact.

I shall work on this screenplay over the coming months, although any suggestions for side plots - apart from the main one of all of us chasing the cats and Sophie and Ethel falling madly in love with me - would be very welcome.



And speaking of ships, mistress went down to the marina the other day to take a picture of a Royal Navy ship, HMS Chatham. So while she was out I prepared a little surprise for her and got a few things out of the bin and lined them all up nicely. Then I lay at the end smiling.





When she got in she looked very pleased and said "Good dog Pippa" and gave me lots of pats. Then she put all the presents back in the bin, and muttered something about what a silly mistress she was to forget to put the bin away. Sometimes I think she has no logic. If she put the bin away how could I make the present trail for her?

And I almost forgot - we went up to the finca the other weekend so I had a fine time driving in my Landy. Mistress took some photos of different flowers but I am imposing a flower ban today. The last time I let her put some flowers on she went on blogholiday.

Image

Mistress is busy. We are taking a break. Well that's obvious. Anypup can see we have already taken a break.

And what is she doing? Messing about with something called Design, and Corporate Image. I think she means Corpulent Image because that is what she will be if she spends all her time in front of her appletop eating MY dog treats with her coffee. Just because the bag says Made with human ingredients doesn't mean For mistress to eat. They are PippaTreats. I don't notice her eating the boring breakfast-time biscuits, just the organic blueberry PippaTreat ones.

Another thing. She missed my blogoversary too. It was last week when we made the last post in the dim and distant past. Huh.

I'll be back when she's sorted out her Corpulent Image.