Sunday, February 13, 2011

Fundamental flaw

I have a plan for my days.

Normally this involves getting up to go and wake master. I have learned that 4am is not acceptable.

In Gib anything after 5am seems ok so I usually aim for 5.30am. Spain however seems to be a land of later risers so I add an hour on before I start the Pippalarm.

I run in and out of their bedroom. This is fun. Sometimes they play at dead lions and don't move or talk but I know they are really awake.

Misery will call me and say 'Hello Pippa' so I ignore her. That is fun too. As only master and I go out first thing I consider her not to be worth bothering with.

But when I come back in - it is of course, Breakfast Time! - and she gets my full attention then. If Misery is still in the big bed in Spain I will stick my head around the door, glance briefly in her direction, haroo quietly, and stare meaningfully at the sack of my biscuits. For some strange reason they live on top of the wardrobe.

In Gibflat she is usually up by breakfast time so I go to lie by the cupboard where they live. Another strange out-of-reach place. Myself, I would put them next to my table-dens.

Then I have my second and third breakfasts, ie we share theirs.

Second breakfast with master - toast time!!

Next I like to bound out to my gate (Spain) or bound onto my sofa (Gib).

Gate time.

The morning is spent busily watching the street or guarding the flat with a few changes of position for variety.

We have a walk at lunchtime and then we come back for - Lunch! The afternoon is pretty much a repeat of the morning, and there is another walk before bedtime. There are probably one or more walks that I have missed but as they are not linked to food or bed, they are not so important.

Now, here is the point of my post. Where in my plan do I mention grooming? Quite right, I didn't.

Grooming is for monkeys I think, and I am not a monkey. Gratuitous pix of monkeys grooming each other.

If I want to groom myself, I can contort myself into an interesting doga position and then have a good scratch, scattering lots of pretty fluffy Pippafur all over. What I do not want, is for Misery to pounce when she sees a tiny piece of tuggable fur just waiting to gracefully fall out. It does not need help. Similarly, I certainly do not want her to grab a comb and attack me in order to get shedloads of fur from me. That was a joke, by the way. Shedloads and shedding. Hmm, need to work on these jokes I think. But you all have to laugh because Ammy said so. So even though it's not too funny I expect a little teeny smile - for Ammy, because she said she wanted us to smile and be happy.

Where was I? Oh yes, complaining about Misery, and her antics with a comb. Do I comb her messy fur? No, I don't - and it seems to me she doesn't comb it either very often. So there is no reason to comb mine. At all.

Thank you Misery, please take note. Forthwith grooming is a thing of the past. For me any way. Seems to be a thing of the past for you too, looking at your fur. Anyway this blog is about ME!

Now, I was going to end there - but I have something unbelievable to share!! Can you believe there are dogs? on Facebook? Really, Misery tells me it is true. They have signed on with names and surnames and proper birthdays and write just like people. I can't believe it myself. What sort of dog would do that? Some of them (no dognames mentioned) even play silly games like F***V****.

Who could imagine dogs would be so clever as to type on keyboards, set up accounts, and come up with witty posts on FB and chat with other doggies, and, oh! it's rather like writing a blog isn't it?? Anyway, all you naughty little doggies who are on FB (not me! oh no! not innocent little Pippita!!) you should abandon your accounts right now, 'fess up, quit your doggie farms, and as punishment - no more toast/pizza for at least a week, no more chasing catz, and go and lie in the corner for being so utterly naughty and putting the state of the universe in peril. Well, I think that was what Misery said.

And even more interesting - and slightly in advance, but I just can't wait. Happy Valentine's Day to all my beautiful gorgeous girlfriends, those of you who are still interested in me - and to those of you who aren't as well. Pippa xx PippaNOTaFacebookdog (much).


Lola Smiles said...

You will always be my valentine sweet Pippa! xox

Moondance Huskies said...

My Darling Pippa!
Let me be the FIRST of your girlfriends to wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day! You will be my Valentine won't you?? ;)
I certainly will be yours forever!
Your day plan sounds wonderful!
As for FB..who??us??? are we that clever???
Love you my darling Pippa! Wish I were there to give you hugs and kisses in furson!

your Skye

The Army of Four said...

Dear Pippa, Ammy would have liked your joke very much! Especially because she shared your distaste for the c-o-m-b! But mostly, she would LOVE that you are trying to make us all smile! That's what my girl-puppy was all about.
Happy Valentines Day to a sweet, handsome boy!
Tail wags,

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

Hello Pippa! I am a little confused by your geographical situation... Does your domain straddle both España and The Rock?

You do rather well in terms of breakfast, don't you? I actually am more interested in getting out of the door for my morning Frisbee practice...

On the subject of grooming, my kitty housemates trained me well but #1 has to supplement this occasionally. I don't like most brushes except for one: I love the ZOOM GROOM!


Asta said...

Pippa sweet
How could anygiwldoggie not be intewested in you ..youw soulful eyes, youw shiny fuwws sigh..anyway
I am sending you my Valentine love and kissses!!!!!!!!
I agwee wif you about that combing thing..Mommi had a temewity to give me a BAF today and comb my fuws..I stwuggled like a weal fewocious would have been pwoud of hew fuw dwyew is bwoken..sewves hew wight..she'll look a mess , hehehehe

Ummm, Pippa, I have to confess to you that i have a FB page gulp, I hope you still love me
smoochie kisses

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

We are not in favor of the brush/comb grooming either, Pippa. And we do have a pluckaholic here. Ciara is in full bloom for plucking and runs when she sees the brush coming near.

We are happy to have you post as we aren't on FB either. Hope you too have a Happy Valentine's Day.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Another post that drives up my value -

I nevFUR evFUR get my mom up early -

Even though she wakes me four days a week after 5am, I nevFUR evFUR return the favour -

I would think that is worth SOMETHING!

PeeEssWoo: Happy V Day to woo too!

Lorenza said...

Happy Valentine's Day, Pippa!
Sure you know how to spend your days! Several breakfasts and walkies!
Hmmm... I have a FB account.... but in my defense... I never use it! Ooops!
Kisses and hugs

Sunny,Scooter(sometimes Jamie) said...

Missed you Pippa. We've been quiet so long. Still wish we could work on the movie. Personally, I think I, Sunny< would be great as your loveinterest. wink,wink,nudge,nudge :) And we have a new Sundog that could be quite a swashbuckler, or villian or whatever....Scooter says he could be captain of the ship...
Bah on FB anyhow Mom doesn't like it much as she likes reading blogs better and forget about those dang games......she'd never get anything done!

Samantha ~ Holly and Zac ~ said...

Okay one word from the human who types for us..... 'Monkeys' :D

And from us, well Holly - belated happy valentines day.... your day seems pretty good to us. Apart from the grooming, Holly is not so keen on that one either..;)

Huskee and Hershey said...

Great post Pippa!! Loved it... our mom says she'd love a Pippalarm too! The Hersheyalarm she is using is (very) cranky.. sometimes it'd let out a loud yelp/ bark/ woo in the middle of the night for no reason and it scares the life out of our poor pawrents. We can't let this happen as you know, cos we need them pawrents to feed us and take us out on walkies. **wink**

Oh yes, I (Huskee) totally am with you on grooming... WE DO NOT NEED TO BE GROOMED.. period! Good luck to you... (and me)

JB's Big and Small Worlds said...

We think you look purrfectly groomed in your pics. And the monkeys too!!

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

I have missed all these posts, I am so sorry. We are enjoying the jokes and the lovely photos now! My Jeannie is sick so we now have plenty time to catch up, she has to rest. I haven't noticed anything different from her normal unsick personage to be honest, she usually rests a lot imhMarvinOpinion.

We are also testing your blog for the links thing, Jeannie says it is not working....not your blog, the links thingme, she can't see the ones she saw the other day.

I blame it on her sickness.

Love Marvin xxxxxxxx