Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Thanks - and brunch

Oh look. Mistress has finally remembered I have a blog. And responsibilities to keep up to it and visit my friends.

Naturally she has a rubbish excuse. The latest one is that she has lost a contact lens and doesn't have any spares in the flat.

Well that might sound like a reasonable excuse, but she happens to be short-sighted so there is nothing to stop her writing my blog. The computer screen is one of the few things she can see as it is just in front of her nose.

But she says she feels generally disorientated, and has been seen to do very little since she lost it apart from crawl around on the floor. Moaning about the amount of dog fur and dirt.

I have obviously told her she could clean it up if she doesn't like it but she is still deluding herself that she will find the missing lens. Anyway, she is going to the optician's today, that's if she can successfully negotiate her way there without bumping into things.

Now, first of all a big thank you to everypup who left nice comments about my friend on the last post who is now at the Bridge.

At the weekend we all went for a walk to my favourite marina - even Mistress-Who-Can-Hardly-See - and sat there in the afternoon sun looking at the boats. Well, master and I looked at the boats. Mistress looked at some blurry image and tried to focus on not knocking her drink over by mis-judging the position of her glass.

Misery had to go and get the drunks - edited to add I meant drinks - because master was holding onto me. Naturally she couldn't see behind the bar so she had to ask the barwoman what drinks there were (Misery is picky about what she drinks as you can imagine). Barwoman obviously thought Misery was pretty stupid - although didn't say so - as the drinks were clearly visible. But not to mistress of course.

Then she lurches back out into the sunshine with a drink for her and a beer for master - pausing at the step - which of course she can't see properly, as she tries to gauge the depth of it and avoid going headlong with two drinks.

Suddenly master spotted Ian, and called him over. Mistress agreed to stagger back home and collect some pages from my blog that she had printed out for them with the pictures of their dog. And she also printed out all your comments too. Later on Penny turned up and was very pleased to read them all - so thanks for all your sympathy and kind thoughts.

Just before I go, I should say that I am training mistress to do tasty brunch. As I have my breakfast and then share master's, it seemed a bit silly for mistress to have one shortly afterwards, so we are currently eating brunch mid-morning to lunchtime. We have nice (veggie) sausages or burgers or rashers. Sometimes we have potatoes and tomatoes and sometimes we have salad. I have also made it clear that I want bread or toast too.

What I do not want to do, is eat the miserable crumbs that unseeing mistress knocks on the floor. Am I a vacuum cleaner? No. Well not for crumbs anyway. If they were large pieces of buttered toast or bread that would be different. But a big paws down to boring old crumbs.

I was at my most pathetic today. I looked so starving, hungry, deprived, and just so sad and pathetic. Well, I thought I did. It was a pawsome act. I licked my lips and tried to include some of the nearby bits of food. The plate got moved further away. Then I chomped my teeth together in the hopes I could catch something while it was on the way to her mouth. Perhaps she couldn't see what I was doing?

A poor haul today. Any tips welcome. Off to visit some pals now.


Guinness & Shiloh's Family said...

that mistress would have to be blind not to notice your adorable face, Pippalove. Keep up the work, she'll fall for it eventually - they always do!

xxx, Guinness

Randi said...

Oh Dear Darling Pippa - you are starving! Maybe Mistress has been cheating you of your regular food rations since she can't see? Is that why you are so hungry? Still, you look famished...

I suggest you start taking Master & Mistress on more walks..LONG WALKS...tire them out..then they will be hungry, want more food & then have more food on their plates which you get to share... Or maybe on these walks you can make sure you linger around food stores, bakeries, cafe's & restaurants...anywhere where sloppy humans would leave their food...
Also...try to get Mistress to lose the OTHER contact lense...that way she can bump into the tables & send the food down your way...

Hope it helps...

Love & Licks,

Ferndoggle said...

Pipppppa!! How I've missed you! I don't do crumbs either. We're so much alike.

I think you totally look starved and hungry...but extremely handsome.


Jake of Florida said...

Hello Pippa!!!

We've missed you. You are looking more handsome than ever -- even if starved and neglected!!

Ask your mistress if she has heard of a book called Merle's Door, by Ted Kerasote. Mom read it, and parts of it made her think of you.

Lots of woofs. (What's happening with the movie? We have some cruise ship photos lined up for you and maybe a visit to our seaport.)

Jake and Just Harry

One of the pack said...


Take Mistress on a long, long, long, long, long walk if she can't do better than crumbs. Our Dad had a dog that would take all the visitor pups on a long walk and try to get them lost. We're glad that was before our time!

We've missed seeing you, but thought maybe the silver screen was keeping you busy.

Oh, Witty tagged you in the latest naming game. Check it out at

Maybe you can bargain with Mistress: a few flower shots for some buttered toast?

Woo Woo Woof

Tasha & Eva said...

Darling Pippa,
We were hoping that you had already boarded your ship and were sailing over to visit. But now we find that Mistress is at fault.

Be careful. Since she can't see, she'll might miss her plate and poke you with her fork instead.

Tasha & Eva

Anonymous said...

Aww Pippa... what can i do to help, i know i'm only little but i have a lot of guts... i'll share my food with you....

lots of licks


Jackson said...

Hey Pips, Perhaps you need to practice looking more hungry? When I think it's snax time I tend to go and stand over my food bowl, looking pathetic. Sometimes it works! J x

Sophie Brador said...

Oh Pippa, I can't help you at all, since I am currently starving too. I am told that I am on a diet. A diet! Can you believe it. All this over 7 little pounds. Yikes!

But I must get svelte and beautiful again for the film shoot. Any idea of when production starts?


Simba said...

Humans should release our blogs should always come first.

Simba x

The Army of Four said...

You poor, neglected, starving boy! Wait. I mean "you poor, neglected, starving, HANDSOME boy". Whew. Things have been hard for me since the magic cold box broke and I don't have any ice cubes.

JB's Big World said...

You must have your toast! It sounds like you are hitting all the angles in order to get it. Maybe put some more poutiness in your eyes and tilt your head slightly. That usually works for me when I want something from my mom!

Lola Smiles said...

Pippa sweetie: What's going on with all this dieting? They've got me on one too! No more weigh scales for me. They are evil machines!

Turn on the drool. It works every time for me! :)

luv ya
Lola Smiles

Kathryn and Ari said...

Oh, Pippa. You have been so stoic through this latest batch of bad luck. It sounds like Mistress needs some tough love--and fast!

Peanut said...

My mom says poor mistress she knows what it is like to not be able to see.

Pacco de Mongrel said...

my owner alwiz have a glasses for back-up...


Hi Pippa,
Our mum is the same - she once tore a contact lens and spent 3 days just wearing one before she could get to an optomitrist. Nothing wrong with our eyes! Yes we also hear you about the food issue. Crumbs are for birds or vacuum cleaners not dogs!! What are they thinking?

wally said...

Poor starving Pippa. We need to unionize against our lazy worthless apes. My ma ape wears glasses because she would be losing contacts and crawling around on all fours all the time, not just the times when she is looking for her shoes.


Lorenza said...

Hola Pippa!
Yo tambien estoy a dieta pero puedo compartir mi comida contigo! No quiero que mueras de hambre!
Necesitas hablar muy seriamente con Mistress!

Kapp pack said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I know my mom would feed you better than that!

Wooo woo, KA

Charlie said...

Pippa, I find that if I climb on a lap as if to sing, I can look around and get an excellent view of what's where on the table. Perhaps if you do that, staring at your favorite food and then look hungry...
Sidekick Charlie