No excuses

Mistress has surpassed herself.

I am sure she has entered into a conspiracy with our computers deliberately to prevent my successful blogging.

So - what is the latest disaster to afflict me pups?

Apparently our computer and printer are not talking to each other? Does that affect my blogging? Yes. Because mistress needs to sort it out or there will be no PippaCards this year. Well there won't be any this year anyway, but there won't be any for New Year either. At this rate it will be Valentine's Day or Easter cards from Pippa.

First it is Write 50,000 Words For A Silly Novel Month (Oh she did manage it by the way) - next it is endless computer issues.



I really despair.

Thanks to everyone who has sent cards and email cards again.

Specific thanks to Lola Smiles, Simba, Jazz and Dixie, and Asta for suggesting that New Year cards are a good idea. That was good to hear.

Here is the list of cards I have received. Email ones to come for a later post. (Misery needs to make a list of them, especially as she has to do a reinstall of her OS X - myself I think she has one or more corrupted files, but hey! what do I know about it all).

In no particular order;

Jazz and Dixie - who sent a super message
Arabella
Comet Blu and Lacey
Charlie (golden) - who wished me toast and a cat for Christmas
Jackson - who has very distinguished cards - of course
Homer, Vanessa and Bill
Simba
Lenny and the Latshaws
Ben the Rotti
Blue
JB, Misty, PooPoo, and Bear (hehe maybe JB is my cat for Christmas)
Cookie and her crew plus Adelaide too
Collie, Beethoven and Joe
Charlie and Opy
Powder-Puff and Ivy - who sent an amazing card which involved decorating a tree - which of course misery has not yet done
Four Musketeers
Jaffe and Kaylie
Chloe - who lives near me in Spain
Verdi and Gaucho - also in Spain, in Madrid
Mona and the Mommy too
Faya - the first card I received
and last but definitely not least - Randi - who addressed my card to Dear Darling Pippa, and for good measure wrote what a handsome Pippadog I am on the envelope. How thoughtful to remind everyone of that.

I bet all the post delivery people in Gibraltar know who I am now. Hehe

It is lovely to get cards from pups I have met, but it is also really nice to get ones from pups I don't know, so when misery is sorted I need to get out and sniff around a bit I think.

That is the end of my moan and my thanks, so here are some pix from my hol at my finca.

Here I am in my Land Rover having a fine snooze with my leg comfortably positioned hanging off my Landy sofa. I don't know why mistress chose to take a photo of it.



So I changed round and let my back leg hang off, so then she took another photo.



In the end I got sick of her taking photos of my legs hanging down so I put my paws straight out and my head between them ignoring her.



Here is my new fridge that I am guarding so that mistress can't secretly sneak in there and take food out without me noticing.



Master and I working on our bikes on the terrace.



And at my favourite gate.

Just ......

.....to let you all know that I don't think I need to run a competition.

Mistress would win hands down.

Latest excuse?

We go back to my finca in Spain.

What happens? My router is not working, and mistress is incapable of getting one delivered in the time that we are there.

Does she go and buy one? No.

She rings up the Spanish telephone company who commit to delivering one in a week. And don't.

So I have a week without getting in touch with my pals. She didn't even take any decent pictures of me. Actually I don't know what she did do.

I lay at my gate of course and gave that horrid marmalade cat the evil-eyed Pippa stare.

Anyway. More later.

And to finish by saying thank you to all those wonderful pups who have so far sent me either postal cards or ecards.

Mistress has not started my cards yet. I can't imagine that will surprise any pup.

* Asks Santa for a new mistress *

Excuses, excuses

I am thinking of running a competition for the most inventive excuses for not writing some dog's blog.

Mistress has come up with two this month - or rather last month.

1) She had to back up all the data onto a memory stick and reinstall the operating system because (IMO) she had done something silly so the printer didn't work.

2) She joined in something silly called National Write A Novel Month, which meant she had to whack out 50,000 words in a month.

Well, mistress I have news for you. Here is a perfectly good dogblog. If you want to write 50,000 words, how about writing them on here, huh?

Anyway, in between computer issues and novels, we all went for a walk and I said hello to one of my friends. See how friendly I am to smaller dogs? Nice Pippa.






But the other day we met an English bulldog. And I could see his teeth, and they looked FEARSOME. So I barked at him to let him know I wasn't afraid, and he ran behind his mistress's legs.

Misery didn't have the camera so there are no pics of him.

She managed to find the camera when I got my paw stuck though. A dog can't even go to sleep and get his paw stuck without getting a photo taken. The indignity.



And here I am in my den under the table.





No wonder I try to hide.

Freda - DeltaBunny

My friend Freda has gone to the Rainbow Bridge.

I am so sad. I loved Freda so much, she was so beautiful, and so funny and imaginative, and looked after her peeps so well.

I will miss you very much. My heart is heavy today. Bye bye Freda.

Remember the movie project?????

Misery has taken some photos. In fact Misery has taken a lot of photos. Of ships and other dogs.

But they are not coming on my blog. Oh no. So if you want to see her really boring photos of ships and doggies you should click here for ships and here for dogs.

However, she has taken a photo of a cruise ship. So at least we can revive The Movie Project.



No mistress, that is not the cruise ship. That is the Ark Royal. I can tell a naval ship from a cruise ship by now.

Here is the cruise ship. We could have had the QE2 leaving port but did Misery manage to snap that? Of course not.



Anyway once she had taken the photos, I banished her again.

With a wave of the magic PippaPaw, I sent her off to my finca for a couple of days to feed my chickens and collect my fan mail (OK there wasn't any but I can live in hopes, and I need to plan this eventuality for when my movie gets premiered).

Then she came back and selfishly wrote up her blogs before mine.

Fanfare. Drum-roll.

The Movie Project is back.

Pippadogblog readers from some time ago will remember that I put up a portfolio of black and white photos and considered I might be an appropriate candidate for a star of the silent screen - here.

Then, with a little help from some Pippapals, we decided that what was needed was a film aboard a cruise ship, where I am a dashing hero and get to meet lots of my girlfriends.

So here is the reminder of the plot (s) and cast, although if you want to read more about it, click here.

Cast



Sofa King and Toast Hero - Pippa

Heroines 1 & 2 - Sophie and Ethel

Love rival - BenTheRotti

Goofy golden retriever sidekick - Charlie

After-dinner crooner Boxer - Chef



Official Ship's C.A.T. - JB
(the only one we don't chase - although we could perhaps have one tiny little chase scene?)




Side plots


1) the entertainment crew led by Chef

2) detour to Melbourne involving mystery and intrigue - Bella

3) trip to UK for Simba's walk-on part 




Production



Producer/director - Pippa (for now)

Pippa's agent and PR director - Randi

Ethel's agent - Wally

Tester of the all-you-can-eat buffet - Wally

Sophie's agent - Sophie, I mean Sophie's agent



Screenplay - Me, Pippa, oh and well, Misery

Now there were lots and lots of comments from pups and cats, so this is why I need to update it.

1) Kathryn and Ari have told us we need to visit Maine for the International Film Festival and lots of toast.

2) Lola Smiles has asked me to go and visit her in Montreal.

3) Randi has decided she wants a tiny role in the film too, and may even turn out to be my one true love.

4) Sophie has agreed that Randi may have a small cameo but is not happy with the one true love idea.

Sophie wants a pawsonal assistant or an agent. She wonders if Lola will be her agent.

I don't mind Lola being Sophie's agent, but as we are going to visit her, she will also be getting her own role in the film (I hope). Lola is far too beautiful not to at least have a small role.

Sophie wants her sock monkey. She also thinks sock monkey should have a role. And she wants a doctor. And for the cats to be declawed...and .....and ....

Right Sophie, that is enough now. You are taking this temperamental prima donna bit too far. I am not having sock monkeys in my film. If you get bored chase a few cats. And I don't care whether the cats are declawed or not. Nor do I care whether there is a doctor.

But I will agree to some love scenes by the pool and I can watch you swimming.

Charlie, who was going to be the goofy sidekick, now seems to want to chaperone the ladies. Hmm, I'm beginning to wonder how many love rivals I will really have in this film, because Chef also wants to know if he gets some love interest.

Anyway, Chef, I am more than happy for you to be a scoundrel, so that is one thing we can agree on. And your mom is more than welcome to be a production assistant.

The Forget Sit and Stay Gang came up with some excellent suggestions for titles, so I think a PippaPoll could be called for to choose one. Here is what they wrote:

Pippa in Pics! We can see it now. Here's some brainstorming on titles.



Pippa plays the high seas

The sun sets for Pippa

Pirates for Pippa

Pippa Sets Sail

Pippa Rides the Tides

I like those, I think they are very good.

Apparently Witty wanted to know what happened to Peaceful Pippa and why there is lots of cat chasing.

Well, Witty, although I am normally peaceful, the truth is that I am just conserving my energy for those wonderful moments when I get the opportunity to chase cats. Because I can't resist it.

Speaking of cats, Peanut has offered us Shelby to chase, so that will be yet another cat in the film.

And Ethel wants to know if she can chase cats. Of course you can Ethel. As one of my two heroines (and not half as demanding as that diva Sophie) you can chase cats to your heart's content.

Freda has asked if we need a 1,2 1,2 vole catcher. I don't know if there will be any voles on board, but I think it would be best to err on the safe side, so you would be very welcome as resident vole catcher.

Jake and Just Harry from Florida have volunteered to add some authenticity and foreign intrigue for me. And even better, their mom can get us on Port Everglades. Misery would like that as she wants an excuse to go to the Everglades National Park, so perhaps a few days holing up at the port would be in order for her to clear off on her mini-expedition.

Asta is next to the Hudson River, so we will definitely have to go and visit her in New York.

Marvin wants to be Best Boy on the credits. That's ok by me, I don't know if you have to do anything to be best boy though. Oh, I don't want you vomiting dead rabbits all over the place, or you definitely won't be best boy. Mistress has heard those stories about you, so just remember this is a cruise ship and not the woods and forests of the UK.

I have realised since I started my project that two of my lovely girlfriends have gone to the bridge. So my film will be dedicated to Kelsey Ann and Tasha. I hope that is ok with their people.

Maybe Meadow would like a role in the film to represent the Kapp Pack, and I hope Eva is still willing to be in my film, even though she is a princess now. I'm not sure princesses do property stuff and set decoration like you originally suggested Eva, so perhaps you need to go for the cameo role. Maybe you can get Brice to do a bit of work on the sets. Although maybe not, there may not be a set left if we ask Brice to look after it.

And I think there will be so much going on with this American trip, that the trip to the Far East and Australia will definitely have to wait for the sequel, when of course we will also go via Japan to see Jazz and Dixie.

We will have to go via the UK though for this first film - or how else could we pick up Ben the Rotti? - so that will give Simba the chance for his walk-on part too.

Well, that's it for now on the film. Thanks to everyone for hanging on in there and reminding me that I needed to get Misery to update it.

We will put on our thinking caps and start fleshing out the screenplay next. Competitions are essential on board I think. Snose competitions and toast competitions. I need to work on that.

All comments, suggestions, and volunteers for parts in the film are very welcome.

Nearly forgot. Here are some pictures of me.

Shy Pippa.


Laughing. Or yawning? Can't remember.


Give me the toast.

Snoses, and movies, and toast

Well mistress was not banished for long of course.

But when she came back she managed to pick up some nasty bug (no not fleas or ticks, those are my nasty bugs), and has been feeling sorry for herself yet again and lying in bed.

Or rather on the floor, as she doesn't have a bed and I am certainly not sharing my sofa with her.

Enough is enough however, so I ordered a post. Now!

When she came back I did the present trail routine for her. I know she likes this because she always says "Good dog Pippa."



She follows the rubbish that I have carefully distributed and then she sees me waiting patiently for her on my sofa.



And later we took her out for a walk. I was in the lead as usual. Note, although I may be on the lead, I am in the lead.



Next up, I want to ask if you have all seen Bolo's nose competition running throughout November.

I am not a particularly competitive dog but I like my snose, I think it is rather pretty.

And because I am not a kissy or licky dog, (especially of mistress), I use my snose to do the odd few affectionate gestures. Snoses in fact.

Well, what I really mean by that is that I wander up to Misery or master and wait for them to rub my snose, and stroke it and things like that.

If I am feeling very kind, I will stick my snose in their faces. If it is master I will wait for him to say "OK Pippa, I am getting up now, what a good dog you are."

When I do it to Misery I just turn around and run away. Don't want her to think I am fond of her or anything.

My snose went pink for a while. You can see it up there on the big picture. Oh and Jazz and Dixie asked what the hanging things are. They are to keep out the flies and mosquitoes at my finca in Spain. However I thought it was more important that I kept an eye on mistress in the kitchen, so I stuck my head through them anyway.

I don't think my snose is pink at the moment. Misery has taken a picture. She will need to take some more for the competition of course, because if we put this one in you would all be able to guess it was me wouldn't you?

Look how carefully I have aligned my profile against the tile. How artistic of me.



I promised an update on my film project, but of course Misery has not taken a photo of a cruise ship to go with it. Misery also needs to do a bit of work and summarise where we had got to, especially as I have made some new friends who don't know what it is about.

Well obviously it is about me. On a cruise ship. And my darling girlfriends. JB wants to know if she is still Official Ship's Cat. Yes, of course you are. I haven't changed anything since the last time so the role is still there for you.

So next post we need to write about our cast list, and our potential plots, and sub-plots, and sub-sub-plots. Anything more than that will be too complicated for me as I will need a nap.

Perhaps we might run Snose competitions on my cruise ship? There is an idea. And we could have 'Who can eat the most toast/crumpets/pizza?' competitions couldn't we? Yes, I think competitions need to be an integral part of the movie.

Anyway more next time on the movie. (NB Mistress, More next time on the movie - go do some work).

Oh and speaking of toast, I have discovered a new way to eat it. Mistress is spreading it with something called yeast extract. This smells delicious so therefore it tastes delicious. It is brown and slightly sticky and I like it very much.

Apparently Australians have Vegemite, British have Marmite (and Bovril), and we haven't a clue what Americans have. We don't know if you eat yeast extract on toast. Must go and get my share.

Snosing for yeast extract


Lying in wait


On my sofa ready to pounce on that tasty toast

Banishment

We banished mistress to my finca for a few days.

Just master and I on our own, in peace and tranquility, wandering around the marina and socialising, as I always do.

Here I am on the alert.



And having a lie down after all my efforts.



Next up I really think it is time I kick-started mistress into action on my movie project.

I think I will start by sending her off to get a nice picture of a cruise ship. Yes, that will be good. Although knowing Misery it may take some time.

Do not hold your breath.

Where to sleep?

A dog likes to sleep.

A dog likes to change where a dog likes to sleep.

A dog likes to get his head in a comfortable position, especially tucked underneath something.

A dog likes to lie in doorways.

What a dog does not like is someone, aka Misery Mistress, pointing a camera in his face every time he tries to find a new peaceful position.

Just because you have finally bought some new batteries and a new charger for the camera does not mean you should keep sticking it in my face.

So go away mistress and let sleeping Pippa lie.

Escape!

The other day, master and I went out for our early morning walk as usual. Master put my lead on and we skipped down the stairs and out of the block.

But as we walked out of the door, I noticed my lead was not on my collar properly. So off I shot, as fast as I could. Up the street I ran on cat safari.

"Pippa," called master quietly, "Pippa." But I ignored him.

Sadly there weren't any cats under the cars which would have been even more fun, as we could have played a fine game of chase.

So at the top of the street I shot into the catyard, I mean courtyard where the cats like to hang out. Round and round I prowled but could I find a single cat? No. Nor could I find a way out. And there was master standing in the archway waiting for me, so I slunk miserably back to be leaded up.



Meanwhile, Misery Mistress, had heard master calling for me so she had got up quickly (which she never does) and pulled on some clothes and run out to help master look for me. But she didn't find either of us, so she had a nice walk by herself round the block at 6am.

When she got back to the flat, we still hadn't returned, so she came back out to look for us again. Master and I were sauntering back down Main Street. How we laughed when we realised she had got up, and had been wandering around looking for us.

Anyway top tip to pups: always check to see if they have put the lead on properly so you don't miss the opportunity to escape.

Mistress wants to add a top tip for humans about checking the lead is on correctly but I don't think we will bother with that one.

It was breakfast time on our return, so after scoffing my biscuits I decided to supervise master making the toast.



And moved in for a closer supervision.



He dropped some butter on the floor. "Leave, Pippa." Er, no master. I don't think so at all. So I helpfully licked it up. After all, misery never gets round to washing the floors so I was doing everyone a favour.



I kept moving round master's chair, as he didn't seem to notice me.



Then I sat down looking so good and innocent and irresistible.



Master refused to give me any toast though. So I jumped on my sofa and sulked at everyone for the rest of the morning.

Biting feet

I have been a quiet Pippadog.

I had a poorly tum for part of last week. Master thinks I picked something up sneakily when we went for a walk in the dark but I'm not telling.

Anyways, I have been pizzaless and toastless as a result so I thought I would eat my feet instead to see if there were any yummies stuck to them.

Misery mistress was very surprised to see my teethies as normally they are never displayed like this, she only sees them when I am smiling.



One day Misery, if you get on the wrong side of me, you may be toast, so to speak, and I will eat you with my pointed teethies.

And here I am licking my feet.



And doing doga.



Anyway after she had taken my pictures she went out for a walk. But she had been so busy taking photos of my sharp tussies that it was dark when she was coming back.

So here is the one and only photo she took on her walk. Looking down onto Gibraltar and out into the Bahia de Algeciras.



And here am I going to sleep. Much prettier than her silly photos.