Saturday, April 28, 2007

Come back, master

Well, I've changed my mind.

Master needs to come back veeeeery quickly.

I could not believe what happened this morning. I went in to wake mistress up as usual. I take this role very seriously as waker-upper of the house.

It is important to wake everyone up, particularly at a time when I am feeling active and lively and want to go out.

Now usually I run in and three things happen.

Master and mistress play dead.
then a bit later
They say "go away - come back in five or ten minutes".
and then
Master says, in his special kind voice "hello Pippa, what a good dog you are, of course I'll get up now and we'll go out".

Then I run in and out holding my tail high, and sometimes I will make a few hrrrrmph noises. Then I go back in to check on master's getting dressed progress (he's a bit slow these days), and sometimes I will have a nice big stretch and lie down next to him. And he says more nice things to me.

Mistress says "ug" and "turn the light off". This should have given me the clue.

So I ran in and out. First she played dead. That's ok, I don't mind playing the game - once or twice. Then she yawned and stretched. And then nothing. Nothing at all.

In and out I went again. I went to both sides of the bed. She looked at me and said "Hello, Pippa. I've no intention of getting up yet." And WENT BACK TO SLEEP.

The only good thing to be said is that when she finally started moving her lazy body out of the bed, she gets dressed faster than master. Just as well isn't it?

So I walked her further than normal. I thought it was the least I could do for her. Then when we turned round I put on my best cat-hunting look. Pippaontheprowl. Nose sniffing, ears back, face down and looking under cars, in bushes, on walls.

That gave her a bit of a shock. And as luck would have it, we saw one of the horrid marmalade neighbours that go in my corral and make it smell nasty.

It was walking down the back street just as we were coming down the track. Misery Mistress made me stop and wait for it to get well out of the way, and then made sure we went in the opposite direction.

Could things get any worse? Yes. She went back to bed then. The only reason she was tired was because she had spent half the night reading my pals doggyblogs. Why she tries to read over a year's worth of blogging in a couple of hours is beyond me. Poco a poco mistress.

Needless to state I've only just had my breakfast. No sign of cheese and wine with it either.

I am resigned to a gloomy weekend where I am clearly not going to be in charge at all. Disappointed Pippadog.

I shall have to eat all the strawberries so there are none left for her. Hehehe.


Kerrio said...

Hey Pippadog... I think you need to learn the benefit of a strategically placed cold wet nose.

Guaranteed to get people out of bed.

Dachsies Rule said...

LOL ... Kerrio said what we were going to say! We send Sammy because he has the coldest nose. Mom can only ignore it for a minute or two then she gets up and admits defeat.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy